Fake News: After Recent Encryption Utilization NSA Turns Towards Brain Observation.
Fake news alert: This post is of course not true and was meant as a joke. We at Tutanota respect and value everybody's privacy and would never reveal any personal data about any user. We apologize for any misunderstanding and will refrain from parody in the future.
Now that the Trump family is using encrypted Tutanota emails, the NSA is deeply saddened by the fact that they cannot read Trump's emails anymore. Reliable sources report that the NSA is looking into alternative observation methods to monitor Trump's communication. Now, for the first time, the NSA has deployed radio chips secretly inserted into the POTUS' brain.
The NSA has developed a unique method to insert microscopic radio chips into the brain, completely unnoticeable by the subject. These chips record everything that the person carrying the chip is planning to type, sending this information on to the NSA. The NSA is incredibly proud of their newest observation method because after inserting the chips into the brains of the Trump family they can still monitor what Donald Trump is typing into his emails, despite the fact that he now uses end-to-end encryption.
NSA calls it TrumpKeyscore
In honour to its first utilization, the NSA calls the newly invented observation method TrumpKeyscore. Reliable sources say that the NSA wants to implement this radio chip into many more brains now.
However there is one major challenge that the NSA has yet to overcome: With its current set-up the radio chips record all forms of typing, whether it being emails or tweets. While the NSA is very interested in Trump's email content, his tweets are spamming the NSA data base. Data storage capacity is of course not an issue, but Trump's tweets are distracting NSA staff to such an extent that they cannot concentrate on reading and analyzing his emails, let alone reprogram the radio chips.
Resistance hopes to improve chip
The resistance to Donald Trump hopes that they can get hold of the newly invented NSA chip. Their plan is to improve the chip in such a way that it influences Trump's brain waves. They hope that the chip will one day be able to censor any comment that contains xenophobia, racism, sexism, or any other form of discrimination.
In addition the plan is that the chip will stop anybody carrying it from uttering lies.
The ultimate goal is to stop the invention and publication of more fake news.
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Posted on: 2017-02-22